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I was out by the old stone wall behind the rectory last Tuesday, trying to prune back some overgrown privet, when my bypass loppers decided they’d had enough. Instead of a clean snip, the blades just crushed the stems into a pulpy mess, leaving me standing there with a sore wrist and a pile of […]

I spent thirty years valuing properties across the county, and if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that people tend to overcomplicate things the moment they see a bit of unused patio space. You’ll see them in the garden centres, spending a small fortune on fancy, tiered hydroponic kits and designer ceramic planters that […]

I was halfway through a cup of tea last Tuesday when I heard that tell-tale, rhythmic thwack against the floorboards in the scullery—the sound of a copper pipe expanding and contracting because the house was trying to freeze solid. Most people think that if they just turn the heating up a few degrees, they’ll stave […]

I was standing in the hallway of a mid-Victorian semi in Upper Clatford last Tuesday, listening to the familiar, rhythmic scritch-scrape of a heavy oak door catching on the threshold. Most people will tell you that you need to call in a carpenter or replace the entire frame, but that’s a load of nonsense that’ll […]

I was halfway through a cup of tea in the hallway of the old Miller cottage—a fine mid-Victorian build, though the damp in the corner is a worry—when I realised I’d made a right mess of things. I’d spent three hours trying to peel back a particularly stubborn damask pattern, thinking a bit of elbow […]

I was kneeling on a cold, damp floor in a Victorian terrace near Salisbury last Tuesday, staring at a hairline crack in some perished silicone, when it hit me: most people think a bit of sealant is just about making the bathroom look tidy. They couldn’t be more wrong. If you don’t understand how to […]

I was standing on a particularly rickety step-ladder in the hallway of a mid-Victorian terrace last Tuesday—the kind with those lovely, high ceilings that look grand but are a nightmare for anything electrical—when I realised most people have it all wrong. They think that knowing how to fit a smoke alarm is just a matter […]

I was standing in my kitchen yesterday morning, staring at the bottom of my electric kettle, when I realised it looked more like a piece of ancient limestone than a piece of modern kitchenware. There is a common misconception that you need to go out and buy those expensive, bright-coloured chemical tablets to get the […]

I was halfway through a cup of tea in my kitchen last Tuesday when the lamp on the sideboard gave a final, pathetic flicker and died. Most people would have reached for the phone to call an electrician or, worse, headed straight to the shops to buy a brand-new lamp, but that’s a waste of […]

I was halfway up a rickety extension ladder last Tuesday, balanced precariously against a mid-Victorian gable, when a sudden gust of wind sent a handful of wet silt right into my eyes. It’s a messy, humbling business, and it’s exactly why most people avoid learning how to clear gutters safely until they see a damp […]