I remember standing on a ladder outside a lovely little cottage near Sevenoaks back in ’94, squinting up at a ridge that looked more like a pile of damp hay than a proper roof. The estate agent was busy talking about “period charm” and “characterful features,” but I wasn’t listening to the sales pitch; I […]
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I was standing in the larder of a lovely mid-Victorian detached in Chawton last Tuesday, looking at a pile of limp, greyish carrots that had clearly been forgotten in a plastic bag, and I couldn’t help but shake my head. There is a certain amount of nonsense being peddled these days—all these expensive, airtight gadgets […]
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I remember a Tuesday in mid-January, back when I was still valuing properties near Sevenhampton, when the frost was thick enough to crack a stone. I was sitting in a lovely mid-Victorian terrace—built, if I recall, around 1875—when the heating suddenly gave a pathetic, metallic wheeze and died. There is nothing quite like the hollow […]
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I remember the 1992 Jubilee celebration down on Mill Lane—the one where the marquee collapsed because someone thought a bit of twine and a prayer was enough to hold up heavy canvas. We spent more time arguing about the exact placement of the folding tables than we did actually talking to one another. Most people […]
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I spent forty minutes yesterday clearing a collapsed section of dry stone wall near the old mill—built, if memory serves, around 1840—and it struck me how much people overcomplicate things. You’ll see those glossy brochures online claiming that starting a community garden requires expensive raised beds, automated irrigation systems, and a committee of twelve people […]
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I remember standing on a ladder outside Miller’s cottage—a lovely little flint-walled thing built around 1840—feeling the damp chill of a November morning settle into my bones. I had spent three hours trying to brush out a stubborn clog, only to realise I’d been using the wrong tool for the job and making a right […]
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I remember standing in a draughty hallway in a mid-Victorian terrace near Salisbury back in ’94, watching a homeowner point at a tiny hairline fracture with a look of pure terror. They’d spent a small fortune on a “specialist structural assessment” that essentially told them what I could see from the kerb: the clay soil […]
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I remember standing in my kitchen back in ’84, trying to follow one of those fancy, overblown recipe books that insisted you needed a chilled marble slab and a specific type of imported flour just to get a decent crust. It was a load of nonsense, if you ask me. I spent forty minutes wrestling […]
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I was standing in the hallway of a lovely Victorian terrace in Salisbury last Tuesday—a fine bit of masonry from about 1885—and I could feel the chill seeping through the floorboards despite the radiator being cranked up to full blast. It’s the same old story: people spend a fortune on smart thermostats and fancy gadgets, […]
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I saw a glossy advert in the post yesterday for a “smart” walking shoe that costs more than a decent set of garden shears, claiming it would revolutionise your fitness. It’s absolute nonsense. You don’t need a computer in your heel or a subscription to an app to understand how to build a walking routine […]
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