Category: Home

I was halfway through a cup of tea in the hallway of the old Miller cottage—a fine mid-Victorian build, though the damp in the corner is a worry—when I realised I’d made a right mess of things. I’d spent three hours trying to peel back a particularly stubborn damask pattern, thinking a bit of elbow […]

I was kneeling on a cold, damp floor in a Victorian terrace near Salisbury last Tuesday, staring at a hairline crack in some perished silicone, when it hit me: most people think a bit of sealant is just about making the bathroom look tidy. They couldn’t be more wrong. If you don’t understand how to […]

I was standing on a particularly rickety step-ladder in the hallway of a mid-Victorian terrace last Tuesday—the kind with those lovely, high ceilings that look grand but are a nightmare for anything electrical—when I realised most people have it all wrong. They think that knowing how to fit a smoke alarm is just a matter […]

I was standing in my kitchen yesterday morning, staring at the bottom of my electric kettle, when I realised it looked more like a piece of ancient limestone than a piece of modern kitchenware. There is a common misconception that you need to go out and buy those expensive, bright-coloured chemical tablets to get the […]

I was halfway through a cup of tea in my kitchen last Tuesday when the lamp on the sideboard gave a final, pathetic flicker and died. Most people would have reached for the phone to call an electrician or, worse, headed straight to the shops to buy a brand-new lamp, but that’s a waste of […]

I was halfway up a rickety extension ladder last Tuesday, balanced precariously against a mid-Victorian gable, when a sudden gust of wind sent a handful of wet silt right into my eyes. It’s a messy, humbling business, and it’s exactly why most people avoid learning how to clear gutters safely until they see a damp […]

I was standing in my back garden last Tuesday, watching a particularly stubborn gust of wind try to do the work of a sledgehammer on my western boundary, when I realised something. Most people think that if a fence starts to lean, you just need to slap on a bit of wood glue or a […]

I was out by the old stone barn last Tuesday—a sturdy piece of 18th-century masonry, mind you—and I saw young Miller from down the lane trying to stack his logs against a damp garden wall. He’d spent a fair bit of money on some fancy, decorative metal log holder he’d ordered online, but he was […]

I spent forty minutes yesterday afternoon staring at a pile of rotting vegetable peelings and damp leaves behind my shed, wondering why it looked more like a neglected construction site than a garden asset. Most of the glossy magazines will tell you that you need fancy plastic bins or specific chemical additives to get things […]

I was standing in my back garden last Tuesday, staring up at the old Bramley near the old stone wall—the one I spent three days rebuilding back in ’09—and I realised something. Most people think that if they aren’t being aggressive with the shears, they aren’t doing it right, but that’s a load of nonsense. […]