I remember standing in a narrow garden in Upper Wootton back in ’94, watching a man in a very expensive suit explain to a terrified couple that they needed a mountain of paperwork just to fix a leaning fence. He was talking in circles, using words that sounded more like Latin than English, and charging […]
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I sat in the Red Lion last Tuesday—the one with the 17th-century timber framing and that slightly wonky floorboard near the hearth—and listened to a young man from the district council talk about “diversifying revenue streams” and “leveraging digital engagement.” It made my teeth ache. You don’t save a community asset by installing a high-speed […]
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I saw a glossy magazine in the waiting room last Tuesday suggesting that the secret to mental longevity is a subscription to some expensive, flashing brain-training app on your phone. It’s absolute nonsense. If you ask me, staring at a digital screen trying to match coloured shapes isn’t the same as actually engaging with the […]
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I remember standing in a Victorian terrace over in Chawton back in ’94, looking at a homeowner who had just spent three thousand pounds on “specialist” anti-mould sprays that did nothing but mask the smell for a fortnight. He looked at me like I was the intruder, but the truth was, he was fighting a […]
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I was walking past the old parish hall last Tuesday—the one built in 1894, if memory serves—and noticed the damp is finally starting to creep up the north-facing wall. It’s a bit of a worry, seeing as the roof hasn’t seen a proper slate replacement since the late seventies. It got me thinking about how […]
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I remember sitting in a draughty study in Chawton back in ’94, looking at a stack of papers for a client who thought he’d bought a sprawling orchard, only to find out he didn’t actually own the access track to his own back gate. Most people think you need a law degree or a mountain […]
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I saw a lad in the village shop last Tuesday fumbling with a little silver gadget, trying to measure the exact temperature of his water as if he were conducting a chemistry experiment in a laboratory. Honestly, if you need a thermometer and a degree in thermodynamics to figure out how to make a proper […]
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I was out near the old tithe barn last Tuesday—the one built around 1740, with the lovely flintwork that always seems to be shifting—when I caught myself doing a sort of frantic, uncoordinated jig just to stay upright on a patch of moss. It wasn’t a graceful movement; it was a sudden, jarring realization that […]
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I was standing in the hallway of a mid-Victorian terrace in Amesbury last Tuesday, staring at a patch of wall that looked less like a feature and more like a topographical map of the Andes. The homeowner had spent a small fortune on high-end emulsion, but because they’d skipped the sanding and the priming, the […]
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I’ve seen plenty of people get themselves into a right muddle trying to figure out how to start a book club, usually by treating it like a high-stakes committee meeting. They start talking about formal memberships, complex voting systems for the next month’s reading, and renting out function rooms that cost more than a decent […]
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