Category: Property

I was standing on the corner of High Street last Tuesday, watching a young couple stare blankly at a planning notice pinned to a lime tree, when it hit me just how much nonsense is floating around regarding conservation area rules explained. They looked like they were waiting for a sign from above, rather than […]

I was sitting in the draughty village hall last Tuesday, listening to a young man in a sharp suit explain that you need a six-figure consultancy fee just to figure out how to get planning permission for a simple garden studio. It’s enough to make you want to pack up and move to a flat […]

I was sitting in a drafty sitting room in a mid-century conversion near Salisbury last Tuesday, listening to a young couple argue over a stack of legal documents that looked thick enough to stop a bullet. They were terrified, and frankly, they should have been; they were being sold a dream of homeownership while being […]

I remember standing in the driveway of a lovely 1930s semi in Upper Clatford back in ’98, watching a heavy autumn downpour turn the bottom of the lane into a proper stream. The agent was busy talking about the “characterful features” and the “proximity to the village green,” but I wasn’t looking at the roses; […]

I remember standing in a narrow garden in Upper Wootton back in ’94, watching a man in a very expensive suit explain to a terrified couple that they needed a mountain of paperwork just to fix a leaning fence. He was talking in circles, using words that sounded more like Latin than English, and charging […]

I remember sitting in a draughty study in Chawton back in ’94, looking at a stack of papers for a client who thought he’d bought a sprawling orchard, only to find out he didn’t actually own the access track to his own back gate. Most people think you need a law degree or a mountain […]

I remember sitting in a drafty solicitor’s office in Salisbury back in ’94, listening to a man in a pinstripe suit drone on about “legal frameworks” while the rain lashed against the window. He made it sound like we were launching a rocket rather than simply moving a family from a semi-detached to a cottage. […]

I was out surveying a lovely mid-Victorian semi over in Chawton last Tuesday—sturdy brickwork, proper sash windows, the sort of place that’s stood the test of time—when I spotted it. There, pushing through a hairline crack in the driveway with the quiet persistence of a debt collector, was a cluster of those bright, heart-shaped leaves. […]

I remember standing on a ladder outside a lovely little cottage near Sevenoaks back in ’94, squinting up at a ridge that looked more like a pile of damp hay than a proper roof. The estate agent was busy talking about “period charm” and “characterful features,” but I wasn’t listening to the sales pitch; I […]

I remember standing in a draughty hallway in a mid-Victorian terrace near Salisbury back in ’94, watching a homeowner point at a tiny hairline fracture with a look of pure terror. They’d spent a small fortune on a “specialist structural assessment” that essentially told them what I could see from the kerb: the clay soil […]